Necessary Endings: When Rockstars Leave The Team
Some of my team, including the infamous Avery, goofing around and making silly faces for Hannah’s birthday.
“Letting go isn’t losing—it’s leadership in action.”
If you’ve ever had the privilege of leading a high performer—someone who goes above and beyond, tackles challenges like they’re an Olympic sport, and makes everyone around them better—you know how special it is. High performers are the heart and soul of a team. They’re the ones you trust to step up, think big, and get things done.
But here’s the thing no one really talks about when you become a leader: sometimes, those amazing humans outgrow the opportunities available to them in your practice or organization. And let’s be real—this is hard for us as leaders. Like, “can I go scream into a pillow for five hours?” hard. It feels personal. It feels overwhelming. And maybe, just maybe, it feels more than a little unfair.
But here’s what I want you to hear loud and clear: it’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a sign that you’ve done something right. You’ve helped someone grow so much that they’re ready for their next chapter. And while letting them go might tug at your heartstrings (or your to-do list), it’s an opportunity to be the kind of leader who builds people up—even if it means sending them on their way.
Let’s dive into how we can navigate this with grace, love, and maybe even a little excitement for what’s to come.
Why It’s Hard to Let Go
First, let’s talk about why this feels so dang tough.
For starters, there’s the emotional side. High performers aren’t just great at what they do—they’re great people. You’ve watched them grow, cheered them on, and leaned on them when times got tough. Losing them can feel like losing a piece of your team’s soul.
Trust me, I’ve been there. Let me tell you about Avery, my rockstar technician. She was homegrown—one of those rare gems that you watch bloom right before your eyes. We supported her through her school journey to become a licensed technician every step of the way, including financially. We invested in her, and in return, she gave us amazing work in spades. She was the kind of team member you dream about - the kind I would trust my own pet’s lives in her hands.
And then—literally within two weeks of passing her boards—she gave her notice. Her husband couldn’t find a job in his field in our area and they were going to have to relocate out of state.
Did I want to run screaming into the void? Absolutely. Did I consider buying a billboard and running ads to try and find her husband a job in our area just so she’d stay? You bet I did. But I didn’t do either of those things. I was lucky enough to have had a mentor or two along the way who taught me that at the end of the day, leaders support their people, even when it’s bittersweet.
Then, there’s the practical side. Who’s going to fill their shoes? How will the team cope without them? The thought of reassigning their work or hiring someone new might have you reaching for the nearest stress ball.
And finally, there’s that sneaky little voice in the back of your head saying, “What if this is my fault? What if I didn’t do enough to keep them happy?”
Take a deep breath, my friend. It’s okay to feel all these things. But here’s the truth: growth is normal. It’s healthy. And when a high performer is ready to move on, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’ve done your job as a leader. And you may be able to do your job still.
Why Supporting Their Growth Matters
But wait… what about Avery? Don’t leave us hanging - I can hear you all in my head. Here is what I did. I cried. Then I hugged her. Then I put myself to work. Because I couldn’t change the fact that she was leaving. But I could change the note on which she left and the future notes for our relationship. So I worked my network to find her a job opportunity that would allow her to expand her talents and skillsets in ways I simply couldn’t offer at my clinic. I did it because Avery matters to me. Her hard work and her dedication to our practice, our team and our patients. But more than that, because she matters as a human being who trusted me to help her grow and develop.
When you embrace a high performer’s journey—even if it takes them away from your team—you send a powerful message: “I see you. I value you. And I want what’s best for you.”
That kind of leadership builds trust. It creates a culture where people know they’ll be supported, not held back. And let me tell you, that reputation travels. Employees talk. Potential hires talk. And when they hear that you’re the kind of leader who helps people shine, you’ll attract more incredible talent.
And let’s not forget the long game. You never know when a high performer might come back to your team—or when they might send another superstar your way. The relationships you build today can pay dividends for years to come.
How to Support a High Performer Who’s Outgrown Their Role
So, how do you do it? How do you support someone who’s ready to spread their wings without feeling like you’ve just lost your safety net? Here are five steps to help you lead with intention:
1. Have Honest Conversations Early. Make career growth a regular part of your check-ins. Ask questions like, “What’s exciting you right now?” or “Where do you see yourself in a year?” If they start hinting that they’re ready for more, lean into it. Don’t wait until they’ve already accepted another job offer to talk about their goals.
2. Be Transparent About Opportunities. If there’s room for them to grow within your organization, spell it out. If there’s not, don’t sugarcoat it. It’s better to be upfront than to make empty promises. Sometimes, just knowing that you’re willing to have this conversation can make a world of difference.
3. Be Their Biggest Advocate. This is where you get to shine as a leader. Help them identify what skills they need for their next step. Connect them with mentors. Write them the best reference letter they’ve ever received. Introduce them to your network. Show them that you’re in their corner, even if it means they’re leaving yours.
4. Celebrate Their Success. Don’t let their departure feel like a loss—make it a celebration. Acknowledge their contributions. Highlight the impact they’ve had on the team. Throw a going-away party if that’s your style. Make it clear that their time with your organization mattered.
5. Plan the Transition Together. Work with them to create a plan for handing off their responsibilities. This isn’t just about protecting the team—it’s about showing that you value their input and trust them to help make the transition smooth.
The Long-Term Benefits of Letting Them Go Gracefully
Here’s the magic of letting go with grace: it builds goodwill. Your team sees it. Your peers see it. And most importantly, the high performer who’s leaving sees it.
When you support someone in their growth, you’re not just investing in their future—you’re investing in your own growth as a leader. You’re showing the world that you’re the kind of person who puts people first, even when it’s hard. And that’s the kind of leader people want to work with, for, and around.
Closing Thoughts
Look, I’m not going to pretend this is easy. Letting go of a high performer can feel like a punch to the gut. But it’s also an opportunity to show just how much you care about the people you lead.
So, when that moment comes—and it will come—take a deep breath. Lean into the hard conversations. Celebrate their success. And trust that by doing the right thing, you’re not just helping them grow—you’re growing, too.
You’ve got this. I believe in you. ❤️
- Stephanie